Good evening folks! This is Marc, and I am about to introduce to you a post from one of my writer folks on Facebook. In a conversation on what it means to be together, J. Beal had some interesting things to say. But, I will let you see for yourself. Of course, your thoughts and comments are welcome.
There Is No 50/50 in Love
by J. Beal
People have to put the work in to be okay with themselves first and foremost. There is no such thing as someone outside of self “fixing” anything. That notion is one which, way too often, dooms relationships because one person is in a broken position of need. Bad omen off the rip. One needing to be [attached] is better off grabbing hold to a crutch instead of another human being. Why? Neediness gets old real quick!
The one who needs wears upon every good grace of the other and that gets tiring. It’s also one of the main reasons affairs happen. The person (male or female) who is constantly called upon to “pour out of their own spirit” so to speak in order to place an emotional Band-Aid on the wounds of the other is not being fed and nurtured and cared for. Ever hear a married person say “I’ve never felt so alone in my life!” When you hear it that person is telling you they’re in a one-sided situation.
Ever hear a person in a long-standing “committed relationship” say “I like her/him, I have love for her/him but I’m no longer in love.” That person has needs that are not being met. More than likely they are staying in a relationship that has essentially ended, died and it’s for all the wrong reasons. What happened? Chances are the person who says any of the above entered into a relationship with a person who had not been honest enough to “fix” themselves and put all the weight of their issues on their mate. Doesn’t work and we have the stats as well as divorces to prove it.
Statements like “real man,” and “real woman” are comfort-sounding-feel-good but meaningless phrases. Everyone has an obligation to be “real and genuine” with self first and foremost. No one should enter into a relationship broken and “tore up from the floor up” expecting the other person to be the end all for the wounds someone else inflicted. That’s so unfair to both parties.
So, in closing I say this: “It takes a willing and hard working individual to do the work necessary to come up out of life’s battles in readiness to be 100% ready to deal with another who has done the same in preparation for bringing 100% of themselves (unbroken) to the table. There is no 50/50 in love and relationship when folk come real and genuine with each contributing 100% of their best. Now that right there? That’s a winning combination.